Hey all you cool cats and kittens! Just kidding, I like a TON of people got sucked into Tiger King during this quarantine. I may have bullied my husband into watching it with me but we did have some very interesting conversations after we finish the series. One thing that my husband and I have developed during the course of our marriage is a good sense of how the other communicates.
Communication is a fundamental part of your marriage. It is something that you are going to fight about over and over again and you will always be learning and evolving the type of communication you’ll need in your relationship. Communication is also especially important when it comes to finding vendors and planning your wedding. The way that the vendor communicates with you sets the ground for the type of work that they will provide you as well as the quality they will provide.
One of the first things that you are going to need to figure out is what communication type works best for you. You need to figure out what method of communication, whether it be a phone call, email, or text is your desired form of contact. Once you figure out the method of contact its important to then find a vendor that is comfortable with that method. I have worked in call centers for a good 15 years of my life and so I am comfortable on the phone however, due to being on the phone so often my preferred contact method is actually text. I, personally, am much more likely to respond faster to a text then I am to a phone call coming in. Like many younger people I tend to look at my phone as a call is coming in absolutely horrified about who would call me instead of text me. Obviously, if the bride I am working with feels more comfortable on the phone I put aside how I feel and make sure that I am available for her comfort. That is something that is very important in finding a vendor, one who will respect your comfort level. If the vendor continues to ignore your preferences that should be a warning sign to you.
Another very important part of communication when you’re looking for a vendor is the time it takes them to respond. Obviously, expectations need to be realistic in response time. It is not reasonable to expect a vendor to respond to you within five minutes of sending them a message however, it’s also not reasonable for them to take days tomweeks to respond to that message. I am somebody who likes to respond right away so that way I don’t forget it, as well as to give my brides reassurance that what they are saying does matter to me and is a priority. One of the most common things I have heard from brides is the amount of anxiety and insecurity that builds when a vendor does not respond in a timely manner to their questions. I also am of the belief that it is just rude to ignore questions in whatever form they are sent to you in. While I may not prefer email I still check my email and respond within a timely manner so they at least know that I read it. Also, with my years of customer service, I have learned that if you don’t know an answer to a question it is better to say that you don’t know and you will check into it then it is to just ignore the question altogether.
One of the last things that you want to speak with your vendor about is the frequency of communication. I let my brides know from the initial consultation that they have unlimited access to communication with me. I am the type of person that can easily become anxious and I need to, at times, just talk it out with someone. In my marriage I do that with my husband, sometimes it helps to hear or see (in the case of text messages) it layed out in order to ease my concerns. Because of my own personality type I do offer the unlimited communication but some vendors are not comfortable with that. It is important to make sure that boundaries are set and respected. My boundaries can be wildly different than say the boundaries of your photographer. If you tend to be somebody with higher anxiety or, as the anxiety amps up the closer it gets to the wedding, you may want to let your vendors know that you would appreciate more frequent communication. At the same time you don’t want to be overwhelmed by the amount of communication you get from your vendor. If you are more of a hands off or go with the flow type person you may not need the same level of communication. At your initial consultation that is a good thing to discuss with them as far as your comfort level with the frequency of communication. One of the things that I deal with personally, as a Day of Coordinator, is realizing that my brides may not need to or want to speak to me until it’s closer to the wedding.
I hope that this blog helps as you move forward with your wedding planning. Please feel free to reach out to me by phone, text, or email if you have any questions or you want more information on anything that I talked about. Even if this advice doesn’t pertain to your wedding planning this is all good advice to bring into your marriage and let your future spouse know in regards to what you do need in terms of communication. Great communication is definitely the key to a very happy and healthy marriage.